Thai Massage

     I get a weekly 2 hour Thai massage that costs me $13 including a 30% tip. (Start the hate mail now, I fully appreciate how completely unreal that is.) I’ve been seeing the same lady, Dteeng, since I moved into my apartment. She. Is. Incredible. Each week she shows my body who is boss. She seeks out my knotted muscles and pummels them into submission. She pretzels my body to lengthen my muscles and stretch out every last ligament. She pops my toes, cracks my hands, and gives me a forehead massage so divine I am temporarily without my usual creases (soon to be wrinkles). If someone told me she had divine powers I would believe them. She is that fantastic.
     Thai massage is much different than the Americanized Swedish massage that is standard back home. In fact, there is very little they have in common save for the name. Massage here is a hybrid of guided yoga and deep tissue massage . There is no nudity, instead you change into more modest and easier to manipulate clothing (thai fisherman pants and a scrubs top). There is no moisturizing of the skin. You lay on the floor, on a dense mattress pad, instead of a specialized table. The masseuse uses hands, elbows, feet, knees, and whatever other body parts are convenient to manipulate your body and really dig in. There are times where they might be standing on you or you might have your head in their lap. And, often, the full experience is equal parts painful and pleasurable.
     Thai massage follows a pretty standard sequence of maneuvers. My lady always begins with a brief blood circulation cut-off to my legs by pinching the main blood supply vessels, up near my hips, for a minute or so. She accomplishes this by balancing in the plank position at the ideal point to accomplish a stop in circulation. The whooshing of warm blood back into my tingling, cool limbs offers instant relaxation... sounds odd but it is really neat when done right.  She then works on each leg individually, hitting pressure points and pulling/stretching them across my body. After legs, she moves to hands/arms. The same blood vessel pinching technique is used to begin. She then goes from palms to fingers, to wrists and up to the shoulder on each side. She then asks me to turn onto my side, into a sleeping position. She stretches my glutes and digs into them, often enough to make me winch. Some pretty intense chest and back opening stretches follow and I switch sides for the repeat. I then turn onto my stomach. She has learned that I have a surprisingly solid back and is not shy about really working out any kinks I might have. She then proceeds to do more pressure point work on my calves and the back of my knees and pops/loosens my ankles by pushing my legs, crossed, into the base of my spine. The grand finale comes when she seats herself behind me and asks me to lay in a pillow in her lap. Pressure points on my face and scalp are massaged in sequence. (This part is usually my favorite... a good face massage is pure bliss for me) She balances me out my sitting me in a cross legged position, pulling up my arms to lengthen my spine, then literally rolling backwards... pulling me along with her for the final, satisfying spinal pop.
      I usually try to drink a substantial amount of water after a massage because many Thais claim that the ‘toxins’ that are released during such an endeavor can cause illness. I’m not sure that this has any scientific credence (I remain highly doubtful) but it is a nice way to do a mini detox/flush while I am in the mindset of body care.
      I am a pretty limber person but I can say, hands down, that getting a regular Thai massage has loosened up hamstrings and back muscles that were holding years worth of tension. I’m a stress induced tensor... I grit my teeth, furrow my brow, and knot up my back at the first sign of physical or mental distress. I am now more keen to catch these habits as I am doing them and feel as though my body exists in a state of relaxation more frequently than before I moved here. Maybe its the culture, maybe its the Thai massage. Who knows. For now, I am thanking my lucky stars for the availability of such pampering and trying not to think about the day I return to the land of expensive, soft-handed massages. I’ll take a beating by Dteeng over that any day.