As traumatizing my experience with the motorcycle accident was, I have walked away with valuable insight and information.... most of which I am still trying to appreciate:
1. There is no ‘Good Samaritan’ Law in Thailand and nothing close to an equivalency. Consequently, the police officer who stopped me was likely trying to protect my interests. Had I interfered, I could have been held liable for personal and property damages that the woman had sustained. I might have had to pay her hospital bill and her family could have sued me if she had died. In fact, I would have likely been arrested for interfering at the scene of an accident. In practical terms, without pondering too deeply on seeing a woman die in the street, all of this sounds rational and I can convince myself to conjure up feelings of relief that I didn’t get myself entangled in a situation that was a proverbial can-of-worms.
HOWEVER, I think it is utterly absurd that this is the reality of Thailand’s legal system. Punished for helping someone? Really?! I mean, I get the premise... no one wants an unqualified joe-schmoo pounding out chest compressions on a spinal cord victim. But, I think most people who are first-aid trained approach a situation and try to find the least invasive manner to give aid. I knew better than to move this woman but I also knew that rescue breathing would prolong her time of viability. I wasn’t going to try to perform open heart surgery, I just wanted to provide the most basic of aid before qualified paramedics arrived on the scene. And, as I mentioned in the previous post, I felt most compelled to offer her comfort. I think that is the only humane and moral thing to do. If acting out of compassion and humanity is a crime, then I am okay with being a criminal.
2. I discovered that in a grave situation I don’t cower in fear. That is surprisingly empowering feeling. I lead an insulated, blessed, and overwhelmingly fortunate life. I don’t encounter life-or-death situations with any sort of frequency. Knowing that when I am in the midst of one I maintain some semblance of composure and morality is a comforting feeling. I didn’t act perfectly, in hindsight I wish I had pressed the police officer more to allow me to help her, but I certainly didn’t just walk away. Lots of people around me did.
Along the same line, I confirmed that while my own blood (a symbol of my morality) can leave me faint and quivering in fear, the sight of someone else’s, even a great deal of it, doesn’t phase me. This sounds trivial, but those of you close to me know that I get a pretty iffy with mild self-injury (comically so, in fact). I have successfully observed child-birth, surgery, and other peoples moderate injuries without much trouble but I had never before dealt with an traumatic emergency of this caliber. Needless to say, I might have dry-heaved after the fact but in the moment I barely noticed to its presence.
3. Thais are far more casual about death than Westerners. This might sound critical but it is not, it is simply a fact. I was shocked, angered, and horrified when dealing with this first hand but in hindsight I realize that my condemnation of their actions arose from a place of prejudice. I viewed their reaction through my Western relationship with death.
I don’t have a comfortable relationship with death. Just saying or thinking the word gives me the momentary heeblies and my mind wanders to places I hate it being. I can’t speak for everyone, mostly because in the States death contemplation is not typical conversation material, but I would wager that most Westerners have similar feelings. That being said, that is simply not how it is here. Death simply doesn’t carry the same mental or emotional weight. People talk gingerly about someone dying , about their own death, and about their previous deaths. Buddhism is the root of this and I don’t know enough about the teachings of it to comment much further.
4. My morning jaunts on motorcycle taxis are over. I used to look forward to my daily ride as it often served as a sort of pick-me-up. I would gingerly hop on the back of a motorcycle (or scooter), helmet-less, and giggle as the driver navigated through the morning traffic. I prided myself in my transformation from awkward, terrified and white knuckling tourist to glamourous and relaxed morning commuter.
Well, I have re-joined the ranks of the terrified. I now pound the pavement on the 1.6 km walk to the BTS station or hop a bus to the university. Running late? I smile and hail a taxi with a steel cage and seatbelts, happily paying the extra 10 baht above the motorcycle fare (about 35 cents). In a city where traffic laws are long-forgotten-suggestions and the only observed rule is that the biggest vehicle wins (a law of physics, really) I am simply not going to risk being at the bottom of the proverbial food chain. This decision might inconvenience me but so would a traumatic head injury.
And, for the record, I reveled in driving my own motorcycle in the states but, frankly, this is a totally different world. I’ll always defend my appreciation and use of motorcycles while stateside, but I just can’t justify risking my life here. Accidents happen far too frequently, there is no protective gear and I am utterly out of control as a passenger with drivers who have no qualifications. I’ll save my motorcycle kicks for when I can wrap myself in kevlar and make my own mistakes.
5. And, finally, this incident was the ultimate test of my ‘Optimism or Flounder’ assertion. I gave myself a few days to decompress and forgave myself for my indignant and angry feelings. Now, I am over it. I’ve been enjoying my morning walks even more now just knowing that I am fortunate enough to be alive and experiencing them.
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