I don’t like to make generalizations BUT

     ...after 2 months of daily field research and tedious observation I have deduced that most Thais have no spatial awareness or, for that matter, an ounce of spatial courtesy. Period.
      Really, it must be genetic. Or, maybe, it is only a by-product of coping with life in the sprawling sea of people known as Bangkok. Either way, annoying doesn’t even begin to cover it.


      I must be exaggerating, right? Surely, I have just run across a chance few people who were so into their moment that they failed to notice anyone else around them. Wrong. It happens constantly. There is the 20-something lady at the bottom of the escalator who stops, dead center of the landing pad, to answer a text when there are 40 steps full of people barreling down towards her. Then, there are the people who jump enthusiastically into the sidewalk bustle only to walk achingly slow and zigzag across the entire thoroughfare. These same people also like to admire the street vendors wares at random and from a distance, standing firmly in the center of the sidewalk and causing enormous people-jams. There is the very common breed who push their way onto the BTS train or bus, elbowing you 5 times on the way in and using you as a balancing prop when the ride gets rough. Better yet, there are those people who start climbing up the perilously steep bus steps as you are trying to step down, ramming their way by and nearly sending you crashing to the pavement. Love them all.


       However, my absolute favorite variety of the spatially unaware emerges when it rains. They wield umbrellas and are the epitome of their kind. Being about 6” or more taller than the average Thai woman, my head exists at the height of where the pokiest part of their umbrella’s fall. If humidity is approaching the dew point umbrellas come out in full force and I am left dodging and weaving in a pitiful attempt to escape unscathed. Often, they gingerly spin their umbrellas, turning them into blades of death sure to snag into my ponytail, scratch my arms and come thisclose to leaving me with an eye patch. Matters become even more comical, or infuriating, when it actually starts to rain. People will stand under the bus stop (which has a roof, mind you) with their umbrellas deployed, tilting them back to allow a view of the approaching bus numbers and leaving those behind them (often me) drenched from the run-off and unable to view the numbers for themselves. Better yet, people actually attempt to board the bus with their umbrellas open in hopes of sparing their hair the two-seconds worth of rain they would be subjected to if they had the courtesy to close them beforehand. I couldn’t count on my fingers and toes the number of times I have been behind someone who insists on keeping their umbrella open until the very last moment... leaving me at the receiving end of the umbrella spines and the poof of water that they emit when shaking it off on the bus steps. (For these reasons I think people who choose to carry umbrellas should be subject to a permitting process complete with vision test, spatial awareness check, and a ‘driving-test’ in real world conditions. If you can’t be courteous then you shouldn’t get the benefit of staying dry.)


       To be very honest, the spatial awareness disconnect is probably the issue that most aggravates me on a day-to-day basis. 98% of the time I can laugh it off. But there are the rare moments when I allow myself to get so frustrated that I just need to escape. These are the days when I forgo the bus stop, flag a taxi home from work when it is raining (sianara, umbrella-wielders!), have dinner delivered to my apartment (haha, take THAT you sidewalk hoggers!), and have a mental-health evening fit with a face-mask, hot-shower, and indulgence in the latest episode of ANTM.